September 15, 2006
The coloring page is here! A hearty thanks to my sister for her amazing job on it. She made a somewhat crazy idea 250% better than I was imagining. I hope you enjoy it! A big congratulations also belongs to my computer savvy brother for a Web link to higher-resolution files than would fit on my email. The easiest type to print out if you have Adobe Acrobat Reader is a PDF-type file. If you don't have this free program, see Jonathan's wonderful and humerous "Help!" section on the Web site below. If you have a higher-quality image program than "Paint," the JPEG-type would work too. Maybe you can even color it on the computer. I haven't tried that out. :DThe link is: http://www.geocities.com/jonathanboze/annie/colorpage/index.htm
Psalm 89: 2 "I will declare that Your love stands firm forever, that You established your faithfulness in heaven itself."

September 10, 2006
Ladies and gentlemen,Get your coloring pencils ready!
The Official Growth Progress Coloring Chart is about to arrive, thanks to some artsy work by my beautiful and ingenious sister. You may print out your very own copy, paste it to the wall, car door, or refrigerator and chart my progress along with me. It is not actually physician-approved, but simply for fun. Perhaps when the goal is reached (for me, the goal is to weigh between 90-105 lbs.), we can celebrate by having everyone send in their coloring sheets, then awarding a couple of small humorous or fun prizes for the most colorful, creative, and unique entries. Future update emails will note any weight gained so you can color in new ladder rungs on the "Growth Tree House". My current weight is about 80.4 lbs., up from approximately 75 lbs. before the PEG tube and a 0.9 lb. increase in the past five days. Other encouraging news is that I am also slowly and steadily regaining muscle, my skin is much healthier, I am not perennially chilly, and I have more energy. This is just two weeks and countless baby formula cans later.My sincere apologies are due a number of you who have written wanting an update on how I am doing. My well-meaning intentions to respond have not been fulfilled until now. The good news is that I have been spending much more time away from my computer and actually spending time with people, cooking, helping with chores, etc. This has generally been a pleasant change. One of the reasons I was a little busier than normal is that my Mom was in a quite a bit of pain related to her serious bone infection 2 ½ years ago. It is possibly due to arthritis developing in the joint opposite the previously affected one. Please keep her in your prayers. I was glad this waited long enough to develop that I could help out at this time. I celebrated my 25th birthday with my parents, grandmothers, and siblings in a jovial game of Balderdash accompanied by much laughter. The cake in the attached picture is a clever creation of foam and painted plaster. It looked very convincing and added a perfect touch to the celebration. (We did not eat any!!!) There are no more tests scheduled for a while. The last test for cystic fibrosis (which might affect digestive enzymes instead of lung secretions) was inconclusive and will need to be redone in a few months. The unclear results could be a result of malnutrition, so we will wait till I gain some more weight. The latest news is that I'm doing well physically thanks to the added nutrition.Yesterday I read some very encouraging chapters in Mark (5-6) that I had never seen connected quite this vividly before. Jesus did not avoid or "politely ignore" people who were considered "unclean" spiritually, morally, physically, or socially. He spent time with them, spoke with and taught them, touched them and healed them. Even to the point of exhaustion, He did not walk away from them; He continued to do for them what they could not do for themselves. He restored them, and at the same time, He took away the shame and separation that clouded their relationship with God. The hopeless and most unworthy ones that were "left for dead" by everyone else knew that He truly valued them and was not ashamed to be seen with them. In a similar way, I have experienced His gentle hand on my heart in this circumstance, reassuring me of His deep love and power to restore what I had left broken. What I had been and done before I knew the depths of His power to free me from my sick and selfish addictions is no longer counted against me. After I knew His willingness and ability to deliver me from myself, there also came a point where I rebelled and refused to follow Him in unconditional faith because I feared the results of complete surrender. I questioned His nature and motives, but He has been very patiently and gently healing me and calling me back to trust in Him during the past few years and especially this summer. He has been walking with me through a number of things I had feared, and so for this reason, these challenging times have also been joyful and freeing. This is clearly His peace and a result of all of your prayers, because I can see the stark contrast whenever I focus on myself rather than Him: I am unpleasant, worried, and unhappy when all I see is the immediate situation rather than His faithfulness in the past, His ability to work in the present time, as well as His willingness to walk through any situation in the future. I am so capable of forgetting. Like Peter, I am so prone to deny Him, and only He can keep me faithful to the end. Please pray that I keep my focus on His adequate strength rather than my insufficiency, so that I do not waste a chance to let others know about Jesus' hope and healing when their hearts are dying of thirst, like mine has been before. I need Him just as much now.
Ephesians 2:1-10, 17-19; Romans 5:1-8; 8:1-2, 12-18, 28-39
These are the words and a translation from a worship song in Spanish:
CON QUE PAGAREMOS, AMOR TAN INMENSO QUE DISTE TU VIDA POR EL PECADOR
EN CAMBIO RECIVES LA OFRENDA HUMILDE
LA OFRENDA HUMILDE SEÑOR JESUCRISTO DE MI CORAZON
With what could we repay this love so great that You gave Your life for a sinner?
You receive in exchange, Lord Jesus Christ, the humble offering of my heart.

August 29, 2006
A rubbery, eighteen-inch earthworm wriggledits way down into my stomach. Yum."No big deal," I thought, "just what I had been expecting."
No, not a scene from Fear Factor; this is the single memory I have of the procedure in which the feeding tube was put in. No pain or discomfort, it was just pretty weird. The next thing I briefly remember is when the doctor was talking with my parents in the recovery room afterwards. He, a fan of good Jewish recipes, asked if anyone had further questions. I was somehow "with-it" enough to reply that I was wondering how to make Matzo-ball soup when I get feeling better and am able to digest it. (This is delicious chicken soup with dumplings made of kosher Matzo wafers.) The two very unrelated memories are all I recall.Well, in the intervening time between Friday and Tuesday, the novelty of both this new device (the PEG tube) and its generally quiet accomplice, a portable Kangaroo pump, have worn off like the anesthetic. They are just another part of me, and a new part of the sometimes-hectic daily routine here. I am extremely fortunate that my mom is a nurse and the feeding pump is so much like an IV pump that she already has most everything figured out. She is very comfortable helping me with it and teaching me how to do everything. The biggest challenge for me will be how to wrestle with all the tubing and not make a horrible mess with the baby formula! I'm sure she will be quite patient with her new apprentice (me!) The whole thing can be packed up in a lightweight backpack that I can carry with me – it's a lot like a "camel" backpack water bag for hiking. Amazing! The formula is one for infants with allergies and special digestive needs and seems to be working well at this point in time. Everyone is encouraged at how I am metabolizing it, and I gained a pound for the first time in months!!! We will increase the amount I get every day. I'm not sure we know how many other tests we will need to do before we find the reason for the weight loss.Thanks for keeping me and my family in your prayers! :)

Honesty. Catharsis. A midnight prayer.
Heavenly Father, I've come to the end of what I can reasonably do on my own. I am exhausted. I come to You and I need to cry on Your shoulder. I do not understand why all this is happening, but I trust You. There is a much greater purpose for it all than what I can see right now. But I need You, and I need to rest in You. Like Your Son found strength and victory in surrendering in Your presence, I desire to trust in You completely and not in my own inadequate power or love. I want to see Satan shudder as he knows that I have run toward You now and not from You – the accusation for the destruction and death he has caused throughout time falls squarely on him – and he is waiting for the punishment he deserves in due time. In the meantime, more of us, Your adopted sons and daughters, will find rest and our hope in Your strong and caring presence. Thank You for allowing me to come to You; I am the daughter You have redeemed, may Your glory never cease. Amen.

August 17, 2006
I’ve been thinking that . . .
A 25th birthday ought to be celebrated with something really unique and memorable . . . a tattoo maybe. No, not exactly what I was thinking. Hmm, perhaps a tongue-ring. No, that’s not extreme enough. A PEG tube? Perfect! This type of body piercing goes beyond them all. Care for a brief description? If not, skip to the next paragraph. :) A flexible plastic post connects through the outer skin to the inner wall of the stomach or small intestine providing a clean, sealable opening. More info can be found if you do a Google search for “PEG tube.” It is used to provide supplemental feedings to GI patients such as me.The results of last week’s camera adventure showed no little parasites grinning at the camera or any blockages caused by tiny yellow school buses, but it did show that I have had chronic undernourishment from months of my body not being able to digest the fats and proteins it needs to keep functioning right. That is also why my stomach lining is so thin. We still do not know the reason I am not digesting these nutrients normally and am unable to consume enough Calories to keep up with what my body needs. Yesterday I felt tired and uncomfortable because I had eaten a few jars of baby food (I’m convinced the people who develop it do not eat much of it themselves!) and my stomach felt so full it was telling me I had just finished an enormous meal at a fancy Italian restaurant, but I still felt tired like I was not eating enough Calories to keep me alert. Frustrating – I was trying so hard to get the best nourishment I could. Thank goodness most of my days have not been that discouraging. But my gastroenterologist is concerned and believes it is the best plan to proceed with a feeding tube until we can locate or treat the true reason for the weight loss. I will still be able to eat normal food as much as I can. I am ready for this – I don’t want to lose any more weight. No cake for me – pass me the birthday formula!!!We don’t have the appointment made yet for this procedure, but I’ll let you know so that you can be praying. A very important thing to be praying about is that we can find a formula that I tolerate well, because I have a lot of allergies. Please pray that I can get adequate nutrition with a ready-made formula and that I would tolerate and digest it well, or that we could find a company that is willing to make a special one for us. (Ensure and other drinks won’t work because of corn and soy – there is one possibility my nutritionist has suggested; it’s a baby formula for kids with allergies.) One thing I look forward to about the PEG tube is that I can explain to the kids in my class from experience that it is important to respect and enjoy the company of their fellow students in wheelchairs, with communication boards, etc. Sometimes our bodies just need a little extra help! True friends look past the extra equipment and see the value of a soul.
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

August 9, 2006
There once was a lady who swallowed a camera
I don’t know why she swallowed the camera
Perhaps she’s a spy!
(Spying on her insides, that is!)

Hello everyone.
Today I had the unique privilege of consuming an unusual culinary treat. It was a rather high-tech confection shaped like a small pill. It flashed on and off in my hand as I prepared to swallow it, doing a fascinating lighting-bug imitation. This nifty contraption began taking photos all the way down my esophagus! If you wish to learn more about this tiny wonder, please follow the link to Mayo Clinic’s capsule endoscopy Web page: http://www.mayoclinic.org/crohns/capsuleendo.html. My nurse at Lutheran Hospital gave me a tidbit of advice as she fitted me in a belt with two curiously-shaped electronic devices, one of which had a little blinking green light. After asking if I had any plans that day of taking a trip to the mall or visiting the airport, she related a story of a previous patient who ended up pinned to the ground because he was suspected of being a criminal with an explosive device. To assure everyone I was not one of these dangerous and ill-intentioned persons, I would have to show my hospital bracelet and medical brochure. I will know the results of this test at my next appointment on the 15th of August. I am sorry it has taken me this long to write to most of you. The good news is that a number of you are getting “first issues” of this update, because Mom and Dad suggested I add some names from their email list so that we could update everyone at the same time (good plan!) If ever you decide that you would rather not get emails from me (sad!) please send a box of Kleenex (currently on sale!) and a message stating that you’d rather not receive them. . . .We have ruled out a number of things through previous tests: it isn’t an eating disorder, gallbladder problems, an ulcer, Crohn’s, irritable bowel syndrome, or celiac disease. I am not anemic and have been absorbing minerals well. Most of my GI (gastrointestinal) system looked healthy, but my stomach lining has been irritated, and is thin and deteriorated – we’re still searching for an exact reason – everyone is scratching their heads. I feel mostly well, but I get tired pretty easily. One big decision that had to be made was to postpone student teaching. This was not an easy choice, but my doctor advised not to go ahead with teaching this semester, because he said I would not have the energy. Now I see the wisdom in what he said, but it’s still weird not buying school supplies in anticipation at this time of year. I’ll miss being in school this fall. One thing I know is that this experience has given me a lot of food for thought and will teach me to better understand the lives of students who have medical problems and their families.
1 Peter 4:10 Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms.